Clyde is a Smart Man... As Are Most Farmers.

A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now tell me, what the HECK would you say?"

Post by Auto Parts Tomorrow.

Watch Out For That Truck !!

Long ago, at a now out of business local Atlanta Pontiac Dealership, they had a unique practical joke that they played on customers in the parts department. First let me pause and caution that "You should not try this at home". Underneath the GM parts counter they had installed a HUGE 18 wheeler air horn connected to a 12 volt car battery. They also wired it so that you could push a door bell type button and just about blow the glass out of the waiting area.

So picture a customer walking through the glass door, inset into the glass wall that looked out over the service lane. If the customer proved to be just a bit too meticulous about the exact color, size and fit of the part, and continued to insist that he wanted to keep looking at more parts until he found the one that perfectly matched the one from his cherry 1969 Corvette ("Don't you have one in the old style ACDelco parts box?")... the parts guys would look at each other and nod.

One of them would scream with a terrified tone and expression "That truck isn't going to stop!!" and dive behind the counter one way. Then the other would Scream "WATCH OUT!!", press the button and dive the other. When the 800 decibel horn blasted from directly underneath the customer, the reaction would be instantaneous, hilarious and almost always not fatal.

Needless to say, either the customer would become great friends because he appreciated the practical joke, or he would never be seen again. Either way it would be considered a win...

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